


Truth

by bazwrites



Series: tumblr requests [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 18:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10792065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bazwrites/pseuds/bazwrites
Summary: evan faces the truth.





	Truth

**Author's Note:**

> +another tumblr request! this time deh
> 
> +i love heidi sm

The _click_ of Evan’s mom’s laptop serves as the metaphorical final nail in the coffin. She looks towards her son, and her eyes are sad.

Evan hates what he’s become.

“I didn’t know,” she says softly, shoulders sagging gently. 

“No one did.” _That’s what happens when you **lie** to everyone. No one knows who you are._

 _“_ That’s not what I…I didn’t know you were hurting like that. That you felt so…” there’s a long pause as Heidi gathers her thoughts. “I didn’t know.”

“How did I not _know_?” she whispers, more to herself than to Evan. 

“Because I didn’t tell you!” he jumps in immediately, taking a few steps towards his mother but still keeping his distance.

“You shouldn’t have had to.”

“I lied about so many things,” Evan mumbles, playing with a fray in his sleeve. “Not just about Connor. About uh – other things, too. About last summer.”

“You can tell me–”

“You’ll _hate_ me,” Evan cuts in abruptly, tears forming in his eyes again. “I-I just felt so useless and broken and _alone_ and – and you’ll hate me and you _should_. For what I tried to do.”

Heidi pats the space next to her on the couch. It takes everything in Evan to make the few steps forward and sink into the cushions.

“Evan, I love you. For all you are, and–” she takes a breath and takes one of Evan’s hands in both of hers. “I could never hate you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and no matter what you feel, or what you did, that isn’t going to change.”

She moves a hand to her son’s face and wipes his cheek gently. Tears stream from her own eyes.

“Whenever you’re ready, sweetie.”

Evan nods, but he can’t get the words out. For months, all he’s done is lie. Lie to his mom, lie to Connor’s parents, lie to Zoe, lie to the whole world, lie to _himself_. And he’s so, so tired of lying. 

He _wants_ to tell the truth, tell his mom that he’s hurting and he feels broken and he hates himself so much but. After becoming so accustomed to fabricating beautiful truths to keep the hurt at bay, how can Evan possibly be strong enough to let the ugly truth rear his head? After he’s worked so hard?

_How am I going to do this?_

Heidi squeezes his hand. And with a start, Evan realizes it’s the only genuine contact he’s had in months. Zoe’s kisses, Larry’s firm handshakes, Cynthia’s hugs, _everything_ has been the result of him lying. But this – this real and true show of love, the affirmation of still caring despite something bad obviously coming; it’s reassuring, and it’s terrifying, but most of all it’s _true._

With a deep sigh, Evan finally tells the truth.

**Author's Note:**

> +follow my tumblr if ud like :o @lgbtrucy
> 
> +like comment and subscrumble


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